The first omen we should haves heeded was the one whereby you are encouraged to attempt with the minimum of a 4 wheel drive. Hail the Chevy Traverse! Mocking the gods, the Traverse tried to traverse a puddle large enough to have spawned its own unique ecosystem. Dennis gave his finger to the higher beings and floored the heavy Chevy. In return, King Kamehameha the Great (better known as the "lonely one") decided he wanted our company. After coming to a muddy halt, we crawled from the vehicle and set out to determine how long we were destined to visit. Several nice folks stopped by on their way to wish us well while Dennis searched for rocks to use as offerings for our high centered vehicle. While Dennis searched and mom tried to find a private place to leave her own "offering" of this mornings breakfast, I walked back to a house in search of assistance. I was kindly greeted by Cujo whom I realized was rather friendly once he released my arm from his mouth. After yelling for the gentleman who was sitting in an armchair nearby, I was able to acquire a shovel and a lesson in horticulture. I soon returned to the scene of the potential crime (more to follow as the story progresses) with said shovel and new found optimism.
At this point, Mom had returned and Dennis had propped up the truck like my own little McGyver. After several more rounds of mud wrestling with the gods, Dennis agreed to let us try OnStar for help. After hunting tirelessly for the manual to figure out how it worked (and finding it in the trunk with the spare tire)I proceed with pushing the magic button only to find out that this service had not been activated by the car rental company. Hawaiian gods 2, the Chen's 0. As this year is all about finding the silver lining in everything, we could at least find solace in the fact that the car company would not know that we were actually stranded in their vehicle in a restricted zone. Moving along we decided to have lunch and rethink our strategy. After much debate we decided it would be better to consult with the locals on how to outsmart the gods. Little did we know the locals would out smart the Chen's. A call was placed to a towing company in nearby Hawi and our saviors promised to rescue us from our muddy death in a mere 25 mins.
We waited patiently by taking pictures and whale watching. This day might turn out not to be a total loss after all. The aptly named "Kartow" towing gentlemen swiftly pulled up, attached a chain and pulled us to safety all for the cost of a small automobile. Dennis tried to barter the tow company down which seemed to anger the gods as well as the dentally challenged gentleman who strongly offered to accompany us back to the ATM machine in town right from the comfort of our clay covered vehicle. It was a lovely trip with much talk of all the blessings 2011 has thrust upon us and the promise of guns and bullets firing to ring in the new year. On the bright side mom almost got us an invite to a new years eve party that we are incidentally funding, by telling the large man squished into the back seat with her about her affinity for expensive scotch. Probably a little late to say long story short but in the end we decided collectively that one day we will look back on this day and laugh. Hawaiian gods zero, tow truck drivers undisclosed amount and the Chen's just happy to be alive! Here's to a less eventful, less expensive, safe 2012!
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